


Perfection

by PurpleStarsGoFar



Series: Emotional Realities [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Horror, Broken Bones, Death, Dehydration, Delusions, DreamSMP - Freeform, Emotional Hurt, Emotions, Established Relationship, Fire, Gay, Gen, Georgenap, Gore, Happy Ending, Hearing Voices, M/M, Mild Gore, Minecraft, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Not Really Character Death, OT3, Overworking, Plants, Poly, Polyamory, Robots, Sapnotfound - Freeform, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy, Video Game Mechanics, Water, dream - Freeform, dream team, dreamnap, dreamnotfound, dreamnotnap, dreamwastaken - Freeform, georgenotfound - Freeform, poly dream team, sapnap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:54:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28965690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleStarsGoFar/pseuds/PurpleStarsGoFar
Summary: After the recent episodes his boyfriends have had, Dream has decided to do everything he can to lessen their stress! Even if it means he doesn't get to care for himself properly.He has to be perfect.---Dream angst with poly Dream Team---EXTREME TW; Plants Growing into living things, Gore, Blood, Broken Bones, Intrusive Thoughts, Self Hatred, Death In General, Dehydration/Starvation (kinda), Body Horror, Puking (kinda)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Emotional Realities [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122686
Comments: 8
Kudos: 122





	Perfection

Dream knew what it was the moment it started.

In fact, he remembers the _exact_ night. The exact night where everything fucked up, and he never was the same since.

He had learned to cope with it when it happened, and once it was gone he was happy! Finally, the world was more than a terrifying twisted shell of its actual self!

And then later on Sapnap opened up about his issues, and then George had his own episode.

It made Dream know deep down in his soul that he wasn't safe from the possibility of it happening again. So he tried to avoid it! He tried his best to keep his hopes up high and care for everybody important to him! _Especially_ Sapnap and George after all they had been through recently!

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were all perfected meals he had made himself. He had even gotten each ingredient by hand and checked them for any possible flaws! He simply couldn't allow himself to feed his boyfriends food that wasn't quality checked! Oh, how he _loved_ the sight of seeing them enjoy each meal, asking him _how_ he made it, asking him _how_ he knew that they liked this type of food, and complimenting his skills overall.

Then he realized that he couldn't exactly spend the rest of his days _only_ coming up with new recipes. He had to do _more,_ and do it all _perfectly._

He took up every single chore. The laundry, the cleaning, the supplies gathering, the livestock. George and Sapnap had complimented him on this originally, thanking him for allowing them a small break from the daily tasks. But as time went on and he kept doing it, they seemed to get worried, even asking _him_ to take breaks instead, asking him to care for _himself._

For some reason he couldn't understand a word that left their mouths, instead, he heard, _'Not enough'._

_And he was destroyed. Ruined._

He told them to go hang out with the others, perhaps he said it a bit more aggressively than he might've liked to, but it worked and he began to do even more than before. _Obviously he wasn't doing enough for them and he had to be better. He had to be the best for them!_

_He had to fix every flaw about himself and every flaw about how they lived! Then he could have all of their attention and they'd never be stressed enough to have another episode! They would be so, so, happy!_

Days went by, weeks went by, he started to barely even see George and Sapnap and assumed they were getting much needed and _much deserved_ rest. Ignoring the barricade built upon George's door and the desperate small fires Sapnap went out every night to set to calm himself down, _they were happy!_

_He was perfect, wasn't he? He was doing everything they would need him to do! He even learned that he didn't have to eat or drink for some reason! So useful! It doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense or could be dangerous because it was useful!_

Unfortunately, he still had moments where he would pass out. He hated it. He hated the fact that his body was working _against_ his goals. It made him so upset that he still wasn't _exactly_ _perfect._ That he couldn't _control_ every part of himself still. It caused him to be **_sick._**

Until one day he passed out and heard a loud crash as his world went black.

\---

" _Ow, shit, my head..._ "

Dream groaned as he pulled himself off of the floor, not even noticing the circumstance he was in at first. When he did notice, he didn't dare lose his calm.

A messy overgrown hall. It looked nothing like his house aside from _maybe_ the layout. It looked kind of futuristic, like an abandoned lab, or any type of abandoned important facility, if he were to be honest.

"Okay..." Dream took a long breath, only to feel pain in his ribs in response.

He looked down and gasped at what he saw, a thorny vine stabbed right through his chest, soaked in his own blood. The vine had grown out into multiple smaller ones that wrapped around his upper chest, all covered in thorns as well, but also sparsely decorated in a small colorful flower or two.

When he looked up at the foliage around himself he realized that the plants inside of him were noticeably healthier and brighter in color.

"At least I'm the best man in show, _I guess,_ " he joked to himself.

But where was he? That was the important question here. He decided to begin walking down the hallway, making sure to not trip on the plants that grew out of the floor. Even if they weren't as pretty as the greenery in his chest, they deserved to not be harmed.

He eventually got to a door and examined it, blue paint was chipped off of the metal and it was stained and dirtied over what looked to be a long time. There was no knob, leaving Dream to take a gamble and just knock on the door.

He heard a whine from the other side along with some shifting. Then a gasp and frantic movement. The door soon slid open and revealed a shorter, almost familiar man. Or... atleast a robot that _looked_ like a man that was crying out an excess of water.

"A-are you _okay?_ "

" _Dream?!_ "

"How do you know my name?..."

The other went to rub his eyes clear before responding with a nearly offended tone. "What do you _mean_ how do I know your name!? We're _DATING,_ Dream!"

He blinked in confusion. Why was the robot saying that? What does it mean? He hadn't seen it before in his life!

"I'm **_GEORGE,_** Dream!"

He froze, finally recognizing the voice that the machinery emitted. It was George, but... _how?_

"Why is?- Why isn't there _just_ water now?..." George looked around in confusion.

"You can... you can _see_ it?"

"Yeah! Where the hell are we?!"

That wasn't good. But at least it jogged Dream's memory.

He had another episode and the plants caught up to him. He lost control. But why is he still here? Why can George see it?

"I'm... You're in _my_ episode?"

"Your _what!?_ " George looked up to Dream, "Do you- Did you _not_ tell us!?"

Dream felt a wave of guilt hit him. "Well, I- I only had it _once!-_ And it was a kinda long time ago!- And then it ended!- _And-_ "

" _Dream!_ We know how bad these can be and you _didn't_ tell us?! You could have gotten _**seriously**_ hurt!"

"I'm..." Dream's shoulders slumped, " _'M sorry, George..._ "

George flinched at his tone, feeling bad for how aggressively he had spoken to the other. He softened his voice and placed a hand on Dream's shoulder, not exactly wanting to give him a hug because of the thorns on the vines.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it," George smiled, "we can get through this! We'll find Sa-"

Dream immediately knew why George's face fell. If Dream is somehow having a shared episode with George _while_ George is also having his own episode, then Sapnap is probably in a similar state to George.

Sapnap is the most violent out of the three when he has his. They don't even know how long this had gone on! He could have already been burnt and lost his control! They have _no_ idea!

"We _**have**_ to find Sapnap."

George nodded and they started running down the hall together while calling Sapnap's name. Dream held onto George's hand to lead him through a majority of it, seeing as it was a bit hard for the other to see clearly through his constant tears.

_This was a mess and Dream could only blame himself._

They eventually found a larger room. It was somewhat dark, but they could see the silhouette of something ripping apart a piece of machinery that was responding with robotic yells of pain.

"S- _Sapnap?_ " George asked, stepping a little bit closer to Dream to protect himself.

Sapnap turned around, revealing a half-melted metal face. Glowing flames could be seen inside of his body, making him look like a work of nightmarish fiction.

And he was fucking **_pissed._**

"S-Sapnap- _Sapnap calm down!_ " Dream stepped back slowly.

Sapnap stood up and began to stomp towards them, making the sound of metal hitting against metal echo throughout the area.

" _Oh shit-_ "

"Sapnap i-it- it's _us!-_ " Dream said, " _Dream and George!?_ "

A growl rumbled out of Sapnap's mechanics, making flames shoot out from the open parts of his metal violently.

" _Y-y-y-_ " his voice was incredibly distorted, " ** _MA-AD!!!_** "

He lunged at the two of them and only missed by a inch before he fell to the floor and coughed. Molten metal leaked out of his mouth like vomit followed by a weak _'ow'_.

He snapped his head in the direction of George and Dream again, obviously ready to give another attempt at an attack, he went to get up but was pulled back from doing so. Sapnap looked down at what held him and grumbled at what he saw.

The metal that he had puked up had solidified around one of his hands. Which was probably a miracle for the other two men.

He struggled to pull himself out of the metal, emitting sounds of pain and annoyance each time he tried. He shouted out loud distorted swears that soon turned into weak and frustrated sobs.

"L-le-let- out- Out!- _Out!-_ _S-sor-sorry!-_ "

Dream felt bad for him despite all of his fear. Sapnap looked tired, worn out, and in pain. Plus, Dream wouldn't really assume that an half-melted face was the _most_ comfortable thing.

"Sor- _sor-_ "

"Sapnap, are you okay?..."

He looked over to them and shrunk in on himself, shaking his head. "L-l-l-lou- s- lou-"

"Is the fire here?" He asked.

He got a sad nod in response.

"Did it get you?..."

Another nod.

Just as he suspected. Fuck, he doesn't even know how Sapnap could be trusted in this state, setting him free could be dangerous! Even if Sapnap didn't want to hurt them, he might lose it and do it without meaning to.

_How could they stop him from being able to hurt them?-_

"Sapnap... I... it's _not_ that I don't trust you-"

"Tak... off... ar...m...s..."

Dream was surprised by Sapnap's willingness to have them removed, that and the concept in general. But George immediately walked forward and crouched down to Sapnap's side.

He wiped his eyes once again before grabbing onto Sapnap's undamaged arm close to the shoulder.

"It'll be okay..."

"Th-th-th-th-than...k..."

"Think about... _home!_ Alright? Once we get out of here we'll do _so much_ epic stuff!" George started lifting Sapnap's arm, "What if we got a new pet fish, yeah? Would that be fun?"

Sapnap nodded in response.

"I love you, alright? It'll be okay, I'll make it as fast as possible."

With that, George swiftly twisted the arm up and it let out a loud snap that was almost _too_ realistic for Dream's liking before it completely detached. Flames shot out of the open shoulder but it was unable to do any real damage because of the tears flowing out of George's eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey, _calm, calm!_ " George tried to soothe Sapnap as the younger's distorted screams filled the room.

And that's when Dream remembered something. _Things that happen here aren't entirely fake. **They fucked up.**_

" ** _GEORGE THE REAL WORLD!_** " He shouted as he ran up to them and grabbed onto Sapnap's arm, desperately trying to reattach it.

 _How_ did they forget!? This was _bad!_ This was **_SO_** bad!

"What d-"

"The stuff we do here is just _ALTERED! **YOU JUST RIPPED OFF SAPNAP'S ACTUAL ARM!!!**_"

George and Sapnap both paused as they let Dream's words set in. Once they did set in, Sapnap flared up again and shouted louder than before as the water that left George's eyes increased.

" _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ "

"S-Sapnap- I'm _so_ sorry! I'm _so_ sorry! We **_completely_** forgot! _Fuck! Fuck!_ Dude, dude-"

"I- kn- _kn-_ " Sapnap mustered out as he finally stopped screaming.

 _Fuck._ They felt so bad. They just ripped Sapnap's arm off like that! They're lucky that the effects don't truly set in until the episode is over! But even then someone probably could find Dream and George over a bleeding Sapnap holding his arm in reality and they'd probably think that they're psychotic!

"Oh my God! What did we **_JUST DO!?_** " George held onto the sides of his head.

"It.. ok..a.."

"IT'S NOT OKAY! _HOW_ ARE WE GONNA FIX THIS!?" George shouted, "WE DON'T EVEN _KNOW_ HOW TO LEAVE THIS PLACE SO WE CAN'T USE HEALING AND REGEN POTIONS ON THE WOUND RIGHT AWAY!!!"

Dream felt his chest hurt at George's words. It was his fault. _He_ messed up. If he would've just taken care of himself then they wouldn't be here and Sapnap would still have his _fucking_ arm.

He's not _perfect._ He's not even mediocre. _He's_ **_terrible._**

He dropped the arm and covered his face, crying into his hands and shouting insults at himself. The other two looked at him before trying to soothe Dream. George hugged onto him to the best of his ability and both tried to tell him that it was okay.

But he couldn't hear them. All he could hear was how _he was responsible for Sapnap's arm being torn off by George. He wasn't good enough and they fought because of him! If he was better none of this would have happened! He was so bad at everything!_

"Dream! Dream! Please, look at u-"

George pulled away from Dream as he felt something hit his arm. He watched in terror as a tree started to sprout from the other's back.

Whilst he also watched, Sapnap finally forced his hand out of the metal, probably breaking it in reality, but that was fine with him as long as they could still get _BACK_ to reality.

"W-whaaaaa.... the f-fu- _that?!_ " He scrambled over to George's side.

"I don't... I don't _know,_ Sap..."

Blood soaked every inch of the tree as it grew larger and larger. Dream didn't even seem to notice its existence, instead sobbing into his hands about how sorry he was, and how he wanted everyone to stop fighting, and how he would do better.

_He was losing himself even more._

"Dream! DREAM, _PLEASE!!!_ "

" _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-_ "

" _D-Drea?-_ "

" _I'm gonna die alone, I'm gonna die alone, I'm gonna die alone, I'm gonna die alone, I'm gonna die alone! I'm sorry! Don't leave me! Please?! Please!?!_ "

The tree had finally grown to its full potential at this point. Fruits of various colors grew from the branches, but all had something off about them, whether it be a bump, a bruise, its size, or its shape.

_**None** of it was perfect._

" _FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I SHOULD'VE DONE BETTER, GOD **FUCKING DAMNIT,** DREAM!!!_" He began to yank on his long hair, and the tree mimicked this, leaves lurching forward with the yank, " _Can't do **SHIT! CAN YOU!?**_ "

Fruits began falling off of the branches, some hitting the ground normally and others splatting into mush on impact.

_He couldn't accept his flaws. He hated his flaws. **He hated himself.**_

The fruits were his flaws, all almost perfect but _never_ good enough. Or, not good enough for _Dream._

_But he thinks he's not good enough for them._

George and Sapnap exchanged looks with one another before nodding. The brit grabbed a few of the fruits that had fallen before returning to Sapnap. He used his tears to clean each off, not wanting to eat fruits covered in blood, before splitting them up with his hands messily.

He then spoke loudly, making a show of he and Sapnap's interactions so that Dream would pay attention, and it worked immediately.

"These are _delicious!_ " George smiled as he popped a slice of the fruit in his mouth, and he wasn't lying, surprisingly enough, "You want one, Sapnap?"

The other nodded happily and George put a slice into his mouth, seeing as his hand was limp and his arm wasn't attached to him.

" _G-good!!!_ "

George glanced over to make sure Dream was still looking before continuing, and Dream was, he was watching in genuine _confusion._

George and Sapnap went onwards, eating up fruit after fruit, even if they didn't exactly know _how_ they were doing this, or _how_ they were tasting things in their odd robotic forms.

" _W-why?..._ " Dream croaked.

The two turned to look at their boyfriend calmly.

" _T-they aren't good enough!... Why are you eating them?... They aren't perfect!_ " Dream's voice sounded exhausted.

"It doesn't _have_ to be perfect!" George responded, "Especially if they're connected to _you!_ "

"I-I-I'd argue _tha..._ anything _conne-_ connected to- _perfect!_ " Sapnap added to his best of his ability.

Dream stared at them in silence. He thought he had to be perfect, that he had to be the best for them! He had done everything he could to be perfect and-

_And it led up to all of **this...**_

"Y-you're... you're not _lying,_ are you?" He asked.

They shook their heads in response.

Of course they weren't lying! He _knows_ them! What a stupid question!

He looked up to the tree in silent thought. _What was he doing?..._ He then looked to his chest, the vines had only grown since the last time he'd checked them, forcing themselves to be a part of his existence and causing him pain if he rejected them.

_But he didn't need them, did he?_

He took a breath and grabbed onto the main vine. Ignoring the pain of the thorns entering his skin, he pulled. He pulled as hard as he could with _both_ hands. _He wasn't going to take this any longer!_

He heard the vine's screams, he heard them loud and clear, but he didn't care! He **_wasn't_** a puppet! He **_wasn't_** worthless! And he _SURE_ as **_HELL_** wasn't being left by George and Sapnap like it **_LOVED_** to tell him!

He was perfect in his own **_GODAMN_** way! It doesn't matter if others don't think that because _he_ does and so do his boyfriends!

It was pleading once he got halfway through. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear a _word_ out of it. It's hurt so many things! He doesn't even know when George and Sapnap joined in too, Sapnap using his damn MOUTH to pull, but he **_WELCOMED_** it!

They were **_ALL_** tired of this bullshit! They could deal with their emotions like any other _fucking_ creature on this planet! They didn't have to be traumatized every single time they felt _slightly_ bad! They could work on themselves and not worry about having a bad day and losing it! They didn't **_NEED_** these anymore, and they didn't even **_FUCKING_** want them in the first place!

Finally, it was pulled out. Blood splattered against all of them as it finally gave into it's death. The three sat in silence, breathing heavily before it started to fade to black, _hopefully for the final time..._

\---

"Dream! You're home!" Sapnap grinned as he walked through the front door.

"Yeah," Dream gave his signature dorkish smile to the other.

"How was your therapy session?" George asked, looking up from the journal he was writing in.

"Well, it wasn't _perfect,_ " he laughed lightly at the last word before continuing, "but! I think we're getting somewhere!"

"Nothing is fixed instantly!" Sapnap said, "Now enough of the cheesy bullshit, bro! Get your ass over here! We're kissing and then playing videogames!"

"I'm _busy,_ Sapnap, I told you that!" George glared at the other.

"Yeah, you're busy being **_DOG WATER!_** Dream, call him a pussy!"

"Do _not-_ "

"Pussy."

George let out a laugh and shut the journal, unable to help himself. "Fine, _oh my God,_ as long as you all shut up!"

" _LET'S GOOOOOOOOO!!!_ "

\---

Recovery isn't a straight path. You can't get mad at yourself for that, and you shouldn't isolate yourself or force yourself to be perfect. It's unhealthy.

But you _can_ get through it. Especially if you have the people you love around you to help. Sometimes those people will share similar problems and similar experiences, sometimes they won't. But what matters is that they care for _you._

Whether a friend, a partner, or family, if they love you they will try to help you to the best of their ability. Sometimes it'll be hard, sometimes they'll mess up, sometimes you will too.

Because that's how people _work,_ if everyone was perfect nobody would be authentic enough to be considered truly living, _would they?_

So keep trying! Who knows? Maybe one day you'll wake up and realize that you _have_ been trying, that you _have_ been doing your best, that you _have_ done amazing things!

And maybe, _just maybe,_ you'll realize that you're perfect in your _own_ way!

Perfection isn't _'doing no wrong'._ Perfection is acknowledging your faults and _trying_ to fix them, even if it doesn't always work out in the end.

Perfection isn't the same for everyone...

And maybe that's why perfection... is _perfect._


End file.
